Not Today Satan

Your shirt doesn’t just look good—it is good. Every design is made right here in the USA, crafted with care and a touch of attitude. And because we know patience isn’t your thing (it’s not ours either), we ship fast. Like, almost faster than you can regret that text message fast. We ship within 2 business days (from USA) and most customers receive their products within 3 to 5 business days.

USA-made quality and speedy delivery? That’s the dream team you didn’t know you needed. Go ahead, hit “Add to Cart”—we’ll take it from here.

Every shirt we make is a canvas for creativity, designed by talented artists who pour their passion into every detail. As a proud small business, we know what it means to hustle, dream big, and build something from the ground up.

By supporting us, you’re not just rocking bold, high-quality designs—you’re empowering local artists and fueling the heartbeat of small business. Together, we’re proving that creativity, quality, and sustainability can all thrive under one roof (even if that roof started out as Grandma’s basement).

Our shirts aren’t just designed to turn heads—they’re made to stand the test of time. We use premium, durable materials that feel as good as they look, because quality matters. Plus, we’re all about keeping it eco-conscious with reduced waste, minimal resource consumption, and a commitment to promoting a circular economy.

When you wear one of our shirts, you’re not just getting top-notch craftsmanship—you’re joining us in making a smarter, more sustainable choice for the planet. Style, quality, and sustainability? That’s a triple threat we can all feel good about.

We’re not perfect, but if we sent you the wrong shirt or a defective one (whoops!), we’ll make it right—no questions asked. Well, maybe one: “How’d we mess that up?”

Bottom line: Life’s too short for bad vibes or bad shirts. If you’re not happy, let’s fix it.